Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My Dumbass Twin

so some of you (like the four people who didn't get here from the comic site) may be wondering, "ok so the url to this site is either nomoreparents.blogspot.com or nomoreparents.net... wait a minute... .NET?? but isn't that for assholes and old people?"
well i'll tell you. it wasn't my choice to be nomoreparents.net. some other person took nomoreparents.com. but it's not one of those people that buys a thousand website names just so you have to pay a million dollars to get it from him (or her) later. it's not some giant corporation or government organization or other blog or other cartoon site or dungeons and dragons forum or animal porn forum or any of those things. in fact, i can't really tell you what it is. sure, you could type in "nomoreparents.com" or click the link i just gave you to see for yourself, but that would defeat the purpose of this post: making fun of whoever ruined my domain name.

so this is what you get when you go to the website:


nothing going on so far- except for the seriously unhappy emoticon in the title bar...


and then, as if by magic (flash), words in hot topic t-shirt font start to appear... but not just any words. words that question faith. words that question science. words that question our very way of life. this isn't just some website. this is serious. so what does it say? well, many things. i've been reloading the page for quite some time here at work and i'm still seeing new messages. but don't waste your own time, here are the highlights in order of their pertinence to modern day society- prepare to reevaluate your entire method of human understanding...


intense...


think about it. would we even know how to love? would we even know the names of our family members? this must be what canada is like.


what monsters? oh, those monsters... wait, is this about terrorism? we're the terrorists? the internet is terrorism? the monsters are iraq? interesting...


what does this one say? something about cell phones? no more cellphones? this doesn't make any sense.


this may have been the stupidest sentence i had ever read. until i read this one:



so by the end of my journey i had discovered that not only was this the worst website on the internet, but there is considerable chance that this is part of a larger viral marketing campaign to promote a blockbuster movie or video game or magazine or website that will suck at least as much as whatever this is. so don't go there. i'm going to leave you all with one more thing mr. :( wants us to ponder:

85 comments:

Drew said...

Wow. That's kind of an emo site. Your twin is depressed I do believe. Maybe we should confront him with a Sufjan version of "Duck Tales." That would calm me down right now. I love you site, not so much your twin's site. =P Keep it up

Anonymous said...

If you go View: Source on your twin's webpage, there's a couple weird messages in there... it's a mystery up for grabs, if anyone wants it.


(p.s. I LOVE your comics, I check them literally every single day)

Jon said...

Using source code I found the folder of all the images. 12 of them. You hit most of the good ones. Though this one is odd. http://www.nomoreparents.com/flares/nmp07.gif Here's the link to the rest. http://www.nomoreparents.com/flares/.

Great find. Site is wierd. Love this one though.

Jcc said...

Asher, View the source...

Creepy just became insane / criminal.

Love your cartoons, and now the blog...

Jcc said...

BTW, the registrar is domains by proxy....

Mackenzie said...

This whole entry made me laugh. But let me tell you, I almost died laughing, no joke, when I read the caption under the SAT score one. HOLY CRAP HAHAHAHAHA. It's seriously the funniest thing I've ever read. Today's Valentine's Day, so yeah, of course I'm miserable... but that cheers me up every time I look at it. HAHAHA, wooow, thank you.

Courtney said...

I'm sorry your twin is giving you shame. I guess it is up to you to shine...

Anonymous said...

I liked Asher's internet output better when he wasn't doing it with other ppl in mind. What's next, Sarlin, corporate sponsorship?

Rae said...

if you highlight the top of the mystery page, it says, "wake me up when you get home? I heard the solar flares are going to be great tonight_"


weeeirrrrrrrrdddddd

Anonymous said...

Ya, and if you highlight along the bottom, it says spring 2007.
Like I said, it's a mystery.

Amelia said...

It seems almost like some sort of movie campaign site, though the source code is really strange.

Katie said...

haha the source code for it is HELLA weird.

your blog kicks your twin in his filicidical (new word!=]) face.

Dani said...

That site worries me.

Yours, however, only makes me laugh. I show your cartoons to everyone I meet with a laptop... and many of those without.

Anonymous said...

If you hightlight the top it says "wake me up when you get home? I heard the solar flares are going to be gread tonight"

TC said...

dude... i'm sure you already know this, but you are fucking funny as shit... i actually reloaded that page a couple of times before i read what you said, and i swear to god you fucking read my mind... some people just have way too much time on their hands (like me for commenting on this post)...

Anonymous said...

If you type it into google, this is what comes up:

: (
victor and I are going to stay here until the police come or the fire department or till the fuckinghttp://www.ratbehavior.org/infanticide.htmneighbors put ...
www.nomoreparents.com/ - 2k - Cached - Similar pages

Anonymous said...

you missed what if you could take anything you wanted, well the world would stop turning as we spoke if that was possible, whats also there is "what id y with a screwed up u and i think a hook

Anonymous said...

Sorry Asher, but your twin is right. I mean, what IF SAT scores were irrelevant?? Would we even be alive?

Dr. Rev. Mrs. Kristen Elaine Chaffee Jr II

Anonymous said...

when you look at the sources there's a whole bunch of websites of mothers purposely killing their young.

like this:http://www.bridgeman.co.uk/search/view_image2.asp?image_id=188647

obviously he was beaten as a child and his mother tried to kill him, i concur. he must not be able to live with himself, his own mother hating his guts.

no wonder why he's so emo.

Anonymous said...

and by concur i meant conclude.

eric jonathan said...

highlighting the bottom brings up spring 2007, so the wait to find out what the heck it means will be over soooooooon.

Coco said...

"what if there were no more cellphone", but it looks like they changed their mind too soon to finish it.

Anonymous said...

What's with the obsession with killing children, baby animals, infanticide, etc?

Creepy is right.

theHolly said...

This is an outrage. it's almost as bad as when i ordered a bean burrito at Taco Bell and drove half way home before i realized the guy at the window had given me a BEEF burrito. So i had to turn around and go in the store like i didn't have anything better to do and ask for a B-E-A-N burrito again. When i told the guy,whose name tag read 'Derrick', what happened he said, "Well, i don't know about all that!"
Outrage, my friend. Outrage!

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse than a site trying too hard to be cool, is a blog that tries too hard to be cool by mocking the site that is trying too hard to be cool, and using the exact same tactics to do so.

... and the only thing worse than that, is a blog comment that is trying way too hard to be cool by making fun of a blog that is trying way too hard to be cool by mocking a site that is trying way too hard to be cool.

Leya said...

I went to some of the websites in the source code, and they're all about filicide, specifically in animals. There's one about cats, one about rats (this is getting to sound like a bizarre Dr Seuss), a Wikipedia article about it, and a link to a painting of Abraham getting ready to sacrifice Isaac. And the text is even more odd. Here's one example (without the annoying link that broke up the sentence):
"victor and I are going to stay here until the police come or the fire department or till the fucking neighbors put their brains back in"

I don't know about the rest of you, but this is kinda spookin' me out.

Anonymous said...

Officially spooked. More by the fact that Asher stopped posting. you alive man? Your twin kill and eat you?

Ecapsym said...

Anybody notice the site changed?

fairandbalanced said...

One of the funniest posts I've read in a while dude. Laughing out loud pain-in-my-gut ABS RIOT!

Anonymous said...

first off, the cartoons and blog are awesome! second, i googled nomoreparents.com and got this 5 page forum. crazy:
http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=18922
and it's still an active forum. there are posts from today on there

n8 said...

the only thing different now is that the icon in the title bar is a :)

n8 said...

and no words are coming up = retarded

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